Let’s be honest, I wasn’t okay

Nothing was working.

At home, at bedtime, at work, … I couldn’t think of a thing that I felt like I was succeeding at.

And still, I was told,

“You have to go run that meeting.”

The one with the completely ungrateful client, who demanded things that were unreasonable, who insisted I kept doing it wrong — even though he only had partial information, to who we weren’t allowed to say no to.

And then he goes,

“You’ll have to forgive me, but *insert incredibly insulting comment here.*”

So I said, “I don’t have to forgive you.”

And my boss’s face turned white, then deep red, he got sweaty really quickly, and then seemingly magically, the meeting was over and the client was gone.

I felt so proud of myself. I stood up to this man who just … yea.

And then a brand new meeting began.

Questions about why, about how could you, about what was I thinking …

“What was I thinking?!?!?!

How could he not know what I was thinking?
I told him right before the meeting began.
That I thought I should not be part of that meeting in the first place.

I hadn’t slept in months.
And not just the pre-baby, regular tossing and turning.
But the up on my feet for hours bouncing and shushing and pleading and crying kind of awake.

The one where you try food, then snuggles, then stories, then pleading, then weeping, then bouncing, then circles, then music, then you just start babbling along with your kiddo who just. will. not. sleep.

The kind of not sleeping that made me move slow in the mornings, having to double- and triple-check everything. The kind of not sleeping that made me question if it was safe for me to drive.

The kind where you really should not be in meetings with people who act more childish than your little one!

And so I took deep breaths.
Many, many deep breaths.

And wondered, how in the world I was going to make it through the next meeting.

Little did I know, it didn’t have to be that way.

I actually didn’t know there were people who helped with child sleep.

I knew about “Cry it out.”

And that was it.

I didn’t have a bunch of friends with kids to ask.

I just tried Googling everything.

But it was so overwhelming and most of it wasn’t helpful at all.

I really did need help.

So, my sweet friend, if this rings true to you at all — if you know that exhaustion that no amount of caffeine can tackle,

and you also need help …

I’m here.

Sleep doesn’t have to be this hard.

Want to learn more about the group program I am offering?

Here’s the Compassionately Solving Sleep Struggles information page. Check it out.

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